Did I ever mention I hate myself? I do. Or, I hate the way I am, or the way I act... I dunno. It's easier to just say I hate me. People say I'm a great kid, I have a ton of great talents and all that, and they are right. But what about all my bad qualities they overlook? I'm a rebel, an occasional sociopath, a bad influence, and a false extrovert. Good talents are useless when given to a bad person.
For those of you who interact with me on a regular basis, you might have either heard or even filled out an e-mail quiz I sent out. Well, I kinda messed up and overstepped my boundaries with that and had some questions on there that were completely over the line, and I'm sorry for those who were offended. But that incident has reaffirmed my belief in my own bad influence on others.
I don't know if it was because the quiz thing was the last straw or what, but one girl from my co-op asked me to take her e-mail off my contact list and to not e-mail her anymore. I don't blame her, we never really got along.
I am also asking the other 3 people who interact with me the most to stop. this hurts the most. One of the ones is a girl I kind have had a thing for (even though I have never planned to act on my feelings), and she is also one of the people who talks to me the most. But best for her to stay away from me.
I wish I didn't feel like I had to do this. Did I ever mention I hate myself?
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3 comments:
Josh Shipman,
I love you. and I'm not the only one. You're not a bad person, however much you think you. Quite frankly, I'm sure God felt quite insulted when you wrote that. He doesn't make mistakes. ever.
- Jessica
God didn't make the mistakes, I did and still do that's why I hate myself sometimes. I mean, you'd think with a ton of examples from the Bible and my own acquaintances I would be smart enough to keep myself and the people who hang around me out of trouble. But I can't, and there are some people who want to hang out with me, but they can't afford to have me causing trouble in their lives.
lol several things here i want to say. A. i went back and read that and laughed. i didn't really think about it when i did it because it's you. but you prob did cross a live there. XD
b. Jessica. i don't know you, but i think you need a high five. i tell josh that all the time. im glad someone agrees. take that mr. im-a-loser. please. the only way you are a loser is when you think you are.
yeah that's it. ;) Scarlet
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