Update: 10/3/10

Well, here we go again.

Work is good, I actually like working register. Especially when the people have kids who are outgoing. The other day I had this 7 year-old girl whose mom had a cartload of party-favors helped me run all the items through checkout and then bag them. I like helping the customers on the floor too, but I dont get enough people looking for drawing or painting supplies. I dont know much about the sewing/yarn department, and heaven help me when they ask about beads. Most the other stuff I can get along fine with.

Um..... found a new song I like, its "Like the Rain" by Clint Black. Really good song, exactly my type. I definately recommend looking it up and listening to it. I've even looked up the chords and stuff and have been playing with it on guitar.

Um.... okay, onto the biggest and most importan subject in my life, Liz.
Well, the least of my problems is that her dad isnt exactly comfortable with me, I dont think. I was over at their house the other night and we were watching "Phantom of the Opera" and Liz had leaned up against me and I had my arm around her. Her dad called her downstairs, and when she came back we couldnt even hold hands. From what I hear, her mom is okay with it. But, I totally get where her dad is coming from. I mean, I'm the guy who put a knife to another guy's neck when he was publically cussing out his girlfriend. I have enough "adopted siblings", especially ones who have been seriously hurt by bad relationships, that I'm overtly cautious and protective of them. I get what he's thinking, what his concerns are, all that. And, as long as he still lets me come over and gets over his fears by Liz's birthday, I can live with it.
The next thing... I dont know if I've mentioned this before, but Liz wants to join the Air Force. And it scares the hell out of me. I mean, if she does join and has to go away for long periods of time, I'm going to be even more alone than I am now. And, the sad thing is, I knew this before I even go involved with her. I feel as if... almost as if I'm loseing her before I met her. And if she gets sent into combat, and gets hurt of worse, I dont know how I'm going to take it.
I figure, if we go all the way and get married and all, and she does join the Air Force, I've got a few options.
1- I become an Air Force Chaplain and get stationed wherever she is.
2- I go musician like I've wanted to and move wherever she has to be.
3-We have kids, I stay home with them as a reminder of her, and miss her ever second she's gone.
I dont know what to do really.... so, anyways...

The bonus behind all this, for the last week or 2 my mind has been calmer, I've been happier than I have been, My headaches are down, I havent even had to take Tylenol in the last 5 days. Normally I take the max dosage I can.
So... my future might be confused and looking dim, but as of now, I'm doing better than I have in a long while.

I got nothing else, really.
I'll update you all later.
This is Josh, signing off.